Ages ago, I was going to blog about this, but I couldn't get going. I decided to finish it off tonight. I went to the "castings" for extras for the movie "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe". I didn't make it as a Centaur..... but I tried. (also, all my life I have spelt the name of the title with only one "ue". It is disturbing when something that you thought was an easy way of getting rid of the "Qu" in scrabble or upwords, is anhilliated before your very eyes..)

The Queue

The stark lines converged on one point in the distance, making the corridor seem of infinite length. The queue crept along moving at random intermittent intervals, progressing slower than a committee of procrastinators. Judging by the décor, I guessed that the building had been there since the early eighties, and by the look of some of the other people in the line, they had been there waiting since the worn carpet was newly laid, waiting with subdued anticipation.

“Fill out this form please” said the man who was probably the boss. I half disinterestedly scanned the document, trying to decide whether to start here, or wait till I was next to the table. At least this was going to occupy my mind while in line. I tried to concentrate enough to read the small print while all around was the buzz of noise that permeates through long hallways.

The Circumference of my head. They wanted to know the circumference of my head. I wondered at first whether someone was following an antiquated philosophy of anthropology, judging people’s intelligence by the size of their brains, an idea that was popular during the late 19^th century (I think). They used to think they could predict whether someone was of criminal descent (and thus likely to follow their ancestors into a life of crime) by looking at their skull shape (What the heck they thought they were doing when they started sending convicts to Aussie, I have no idea).

I don’t know about you, but I don’t keep a record of my head size to fill in the odd form that asks for it, or even to buy a hat (I’ll try it on) but I did know some other vital statistics (shoe size, height….) that the bureaucratic form could accommodate.

Nearing the doorway, almost in to where I can see some progress. I couldn’t help overhearing the conversation of the people in front of me. Thankfully, I can’t remember what it was, but for the sake of the story, I’ll synthesize a subject. The tall guy with the longish hair and the eighties sunnies took the position, That Microsoft is analogous to the Roman Catholic Church during the Reformation, Linus Torvalds is equivalent to Martin Luther, and Linux is the Doctrine of Salvation by faith alone. All the different specific flavours of Linux are comparable to the various protestant denominations, all with the kernel of that doctrine. The shorter girl with dreads was of the opinion that it wasn’t possible to use this as an analogy because of the omission of the Mac and the fact that both Win and Lin work as operating systems (as opposed to the corresponding fact that without faith it is impossible to please God)

Nearing the tail end of this egalitarian snake that is the queue, I was able to get to grips with the operation. Two people were measuring potential extras and one was taking photos while a fourth was writing names on a small whiteboard which was held by the potential applicant in an anticipatory fashion, posing for their mug shot with a smile in the hope that they would be the lucky select few that would become part of the movie for which they were cast.